


But Your Lips Hang Heavy

by That_just_happened



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Dancing, F/F, First Kiss, Pining, Roommates, Spoilers, spoilers for episode 85 - 86
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 13:21:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21640558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_just_happened/pseuds/That_just_happened
Summary: After the fight in Rexxentrum the party is recuperating at an inn, and Beau is really starting to regret telling Nott about her crush on Jester, but the night may take an interesting turn.Title and work inspired by Is There Somewhere by Halsey
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 12
Kudos: 131





	1. You Were Dancing In Your Tube Socks

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first ever fic...so hopefully it's alright. I haven't written in any capacity in a very long time so feedback is appreciated. Beau's thoughts are in italics.
> 
> Enjoy!

Beau was going to kill Nott, what possessed her to confide in Nott in the first place was beyond her…but now… as she waved frantically at Beau from across the tavern gesturing with a waggled brow to Jester as she flitted across the makeshift dance floor…there was definite regret.

Thankfully, Jester seemed none the wiser of what was going on behind her, and Nott would live to see another day…for now. Beau downed the rest of her ale, tossed some coin on the bar, and made her way up the stairs to their room, unwilling to subject herself to the torment any longer. She knew Nott meant well…as well as someone that intoxicated could, but Beau has already accepted that Jester will never reciprocate her feelings. She was just too good…and kind…and funny…and pretty…gods was she pretty. She paused part way up the stairs sparing one last glance back at the tavern, Jester’s eyes met hers and Jester grinned only the way she could, her purple eyes lighting up Beau’s world as her stomach did somersaults …Beau stopped herself there, giving Jester a smirk and a wave before making the rest of the way upstairs.

Throwing the door to the room shut behind her, Beau flopped onto the first bed she came to, “WORST. CRUSH. EVER.” She sat up and took in her surroundings, the room was still dimly lit by a few lanterns. The curtains on the doors leading out to the balcony were drawn back slightly, letting the moonlight trickle in a single stripe through the middle of the room. As the music downstairs started to get a little louder Beau pushed herself up off the bed and made her way across the room to her pack, she rummaged through it briefly before grabbing the small pack of cigarettes and matches she’d been carrying since they were in Zadash. She stood up, walked out onto the balcony, leaned against the railing and placed a cigarette between her lips. Before she could strike the match the door to the room burst open, and Jester came stumbling and twirling into the room slamming the door behind her. She giggled as she spun until she hit the bed to the right of the balcony and collapsed onto it. She raised her head and looked at Beau.

“Oh, there you are Beau…you’re just missing the best night ever. I carved dicks into at least 7 of the tables downstairs. Then ya know we were all dancing, except Caleb but he was just being stinky and no fun, but I saw you come up here and I wanted to come and see what you were doing.” She grinned and cocked her head to the side, her curls shifting to cover part of her face.

Beau turned to face Jester, leaning back onto her elbows and removing the cigarette from her mouth, “A little loud for me tonight, I just wanted to think…a lot has happened the last few weeks. Yasha’s back, Obann’s dead…it’s just a lot to digest” Jester sat up and squinted at Beau as if she were trying to get a better read on her.

“I didn’t know you smoked, Beau.” She stood up and joined Beau on the balcony.

Beau looked down at the forgotten cigarette in her hand, “Oh yeah, no… I mean not really. More of something I used to do to piss off my mom growing up and now it’s just become kind of nostalgic pastime …I guess.”  
  


_Smooth, real smooth, Beau.  
  
_  
“I’ve never tried it. My mama smoked sometimes...could I try yours?” Jester asked as she stepped closer to Beau.  
  
Beau straightened up a little clumsily and reached into her pocked for the matches, “Oh yeah sure, here.” She held the cigarette up with the intention for Jester to grab it, but instead Jester leaned forward and took it between her lips gently grazing Beau’s index finger as she did so, and Beau held her gaze as her brain promptly short circuited.  
  
“Light it for me?”  
  
Beau stared for a few seconds more before her brain finally caught up with Jester’s words, and she fumbled with a match before finally getting it to light. She reached up, lighting the cigarette for Jester, the glow of the match reflecting in those purple eyes…

  
_Dude, pull yourself together!_

  
Jester took a drag and blew a small cloud of smoke into the air above her head and giggled. She passed the cigarette back to Beau, who immediately took a long drag, the taste of the tobacco familiar and relaxing. She watched as Jester began to sway to the music coming from the tavern below.

“This is such a good song!” She reached for Beau’s hand and gave it a brief tug, “Dance with me, Beau?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Jes….dancing isn’t really…my thing?” Beau rubbed the back of her head and shift her weight as she looked at the floor.  
  
“You're missing ooouuuuuut….” Jester twirled away into the room, humming along with the song, eyes closed. Beau just watched her, that feeling of longing building up in her chest again, but she couldn’t help but smile. That fight in the cathedral had really taken a toll on Jester, she had to make choices no one should ever have to make, and Beau knew she felt terrible about not being able to heal Beau sooner…seeing her like this carefree and happy was one of Beau’s favorite things.

Jester abruptly stopped dancing and looked over at Beau, “I can feel you staring at meeee, come on I know you want to dance with me!” she rushed over and took Beau by both of her hands, and pulled her into the room spinning them in a circle, and she giggled.  
  
They laughed and spun, and Beau was so dizzy. Whether or not that was from the spinning or the booze, she would debate later because right now she was consumed by everything that was Jester Lavorre. Jester pulled Beau in closer, wrapping her arms around Beau’s waist until they stumbled over onto one of the beds in a laughing heap.

Beau, still laughing, pushed herself up and caught Jester's gaze and suddenly nothing was funny anymore. All Beau could do was stare.  
  


_Say something you idiot.  
  
_

Jester propped herself up on her elbows her face now inches away.  
  
  
_Words! Make them with your mouth, you useless lesbian!_

  
“Uh, hi” Beau barely whispers her heart is pounding in her ears now. She could swear Jester’s eyes dart down to her lips before she returns her gaze once more. There faces were even closer now, Beau's nose brushes against Jester's as she glances down at her blue lips, forcing her eyes back up to Jester's.  
  
Jester grins in response, “Hi.”


	2. Light One Up And Hand It Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I thought it would be fun to explore the night from Jester's perspective, and progress a little further in the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jester's thoughts are in italics. I had a harder time with her inner dialogue than I did with Beau's but I think we came out alright in the end!

Jester couldn’t say what exactly, but something told her that this was going to be the best night ever. She had already carved dicks into 6 different tables throughout the tavern before the band started playing. She twirled over to the table where most of the Mighty Nein was gathered, Beau was at the bar and Caduceus had some how convinced the owner of the inn to let him use their kitchen to brew some tea. She came to a stop behind Nott, her eyes darting from Caleb to Fjord…Fjord to Caleb, “Caleb I really think you should dance with me. This is pretty much the greatest song of all time.”  
  
Caleb briefly looked at Jester from behind the book he was currently buried, “Oh I am... uh, good thanks.”

Jester didn’t even bother to ask Fjord she knew it would be a waste of time, “Fiiiiiine. That’s okay I can have my own fun. It will be the best time.”  
  
Nott turned around and stood up in her chair, “Jester, maybe you should ask Beau to dance.”  
  
Jester giggled and tried to ignore the way the thought of dancing with Beau makes her heart beat a little faster, “Don’t be silly Nott. Beau doesn’t dance. She’s way too cool for dancing.”

“Something tells me she would dance with you.” Jester pauses for a moment, considering Nott’s words and spares a glance over at Beau who suddenly seemed very interested in something on the ceiling.  
  
“Oh really like what?” Jester said leaning closer to Nott, their noses almost touching.  
  
  
_She has been watching me all night.  
_  
  
Nott begins to fumble with her flask suddenly unable to maintain eye contact, “I-well… I-NOTHING! Forget I said anything! You know me…drunk again ha ha ha…. Oh, my look over there, the band is about to start their next song!” Yasha gives a light laugh as Nott flails and points aggressively across the tavern, Jesters gaze follows just as the band begins their next song. Jester claps her hands at the realization and rushes to join a few other patrons on the dance floor, twirling as she goes. For a moment she wishes Beau would dance with her…and then she takes several more to wonder why she wishes that.

  
_It’s just because she’s like, really cool and your friend. Right?  
  
  
_She shrugs the thoughts off and goes back to dancing, until she sees Beau heading up the stairs, and as if she could feel Jester’s eyes on her she turns around and catches her gaze. Jester grins and waves…noting the fluttering in her chest and the warmth that reaches her face, and the brief disappointment that now she definitely will not get to dance with her really cool friend. Beau gives Jester a smirk and a light wave and turns to head up the stairs. Jester sighs and plops down at the nearest empty table, her head propped up by her fist on her left cheek. She stares off into the distance, past the band, allowing her thoughts to take her.

  
_Oh Traveler, what is going on? Beau is just my friend, my cool…strong…pretty friend.  
  
  
_Jester can feel her brow begin to furrow the more she thinks. She gets so lost in her thoughts that she doesn’t notice someone slip into the chair across from her until she hears them clear their throat. She watches as a glass of milk is slid towards her. She looks up to see Fjord. He takes a quick drink of his ale, and Jester joins him.  
  
“I apologize for the interruption, but you looked like you had something on your mind. I thought maybe you’d like to talk?” he drums his fingers along the sides of his mug.

  
Jester leans forward and wipes the milk mustache from her face and begins, “I do not know what I am feeling. Well, that’s not true… I know I am feeling confused, but I am confused about how I feel.” She begins carving a dick in the table to try and distract herself from the conversation she isn’t sure she even wants to have…at least not with Fjord.  
  
“Well, that’s quite the predicament,” Fjord smiles. “Would these confusing feelings have anything to do with our monk friend that just left? Are you two having a disagreement? I’m sure if you just talked to her-“  
  
“No, Beau and I are not fighting, but she has been weird. So maybe we are fighting, and I don’t even know? UGH! I just don’t know what’s going on. I thought… I thought I…” she trails off and avoids Fjords eyes.  
  
  
_I thought I liked boys, but maybe I like girls too. I mean people like all kinds of ice creams and pastries…  
_  
  
Fjord leans in closer to Jester, “Maybe, you should talk to her about it. Beau’s the only one who can tell you why Beau is being weird…and the only reward for worrying…is worry.” He stands up, and pats Jester on the shoulder before making his way back to the rest of the group.  
  
Jester downs the rest of her milk and decides she will talk to Beau tomorrow, she’ll just take the night to clear her head. She makes her way upstairs and as she makes her way down the hall to the room she shares with Beau, the band starts playing another song, and Jester can’t help but dance the rest of the way, bursting into the room a little less gracefully than intended. Giggling and spinning until she collides with her bed. That’s when she notices Beau on the balcony, she looked so pretty in the glow of the moonlight.

  
_Traveler help me.  
  
  
_She lifts her head to get a better look at her roommate, “Oh, there you are Beau…you’re just missing the best night ever. I carved dicks into at least 7 of the tables downstairs. Then ya know we were all dancing, except Caleb but he was just being stinky and no fun, but I saw you come up here and I wanted to come and see what you were doing.” She grinned and cocked her head to the side, her curls shifting to cover part of her face.

Beau turned to face her now, leaning back onto her elbows and removing the cigarette from her mouth, “A little loud for me tonight, I just wanted to think…a lot has happened the last few weeks. Yasha’s back, Obann’s dead…it’s just a lot to digest” Jester sat up and really tried to look at Beau, tried to see if she could tell what she was really feeling.

“I didn’t know you smoked, Beau.” She stood up and joined Beau on the balcony, her heart beating a little faster.  
  
  
_If Beau won’t tell me how she feels, maybe I’ll just have to get her to have fun with me.  
  
_

Beau looked down at the forgotten cigarette in her hand, “Oh yeah, no… I mean not really. More of something I used to do to piss off my mom growing up and now it’s just become kind of nostalgic pastime …I guess.”  
  
“I’ve never tried it. My mama smoked sometimes...could I try yours?” Jester asked, taking a step closer.  
_  
_She watch as Beau straightened up a little clumsily and reached into her pocked for the matches, “Oh yeah sure, here.” Beau held the cigarette out, and Jester leaned forward and took it between her lips gently grazing Beau’s index finger as she did so, and she watched as Beau’s eyes went wide momentarily.  
  
“Light it for me?”  
  
Beau stared for a few seconds more before she fumbled with a match before getting it to light after a brief struggle. She reached up, lighting the cigarette for Jester, the glow of the match making Beau’s skin look even warmer than it already did.  
  
  
_Okay, how could I not see this before. Beau has a crush on me…and I really have a crush on her.  
  
  
_Jester took a drag and blew a small cloud of smoke into the air above her head and giggled, the smell of the smoke reminding her of when she would sneak out of her room late at night to see her mama after she was finished working. She passed the cigarette back to Beau, who immediately took a long drag as Jester begain to sway to the music coming from the tavern below.

“This is such a good song!” She reached for Beau’s hand and gave it a brief tug, “Dance with me, Beau?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Jes….dancing isn’t really…my thing?” Beau rubbed the back of her head and shift her weight as she looked at the floor.  
  


_Jeeze Beau, you really are going to make this hard for me. Ugh.  
_  
  
“You're missing ooouuuuuut….” Jester twirled away into the room, humming along with the song, eyes closed. She swayed and twirled in time with the music, plotting her next move. She knew she would have to be the one to take the next step and make it easier for Beau. Speaking of Beau, Jester could feel those blue eyes boring into her. She stopped dancing and looked over at Beau, “I can feel you staring at meeee, come on I know you want to dance with me!” she rushes over and take Beau by both of her hands, and pulls her into the room spinning them in a circle as she giggled.  
  
They laughed and spun, faster and faster until she wasn’t even sure she was in time with the music anymore. Jester pulled Beau in closer trying to ground herself, wrapping her arms around Beau’s waist until they stumbled over onto one of the beds in a laughing heap.

Beau, still laughing, pushed herself up and Jester looked into her eyes, her grin fading as she subconsciously licked her lips. Their chests heaving while they tried to catch their breath, and Beau just stares. Jester’s heart is pounding in her ears now.  
  


_Oh my. This isn’t like the books.  
  
_

Jester propped herself up on her elbows her face now inches from Beau’s.  
  
  
_Her eyes are so blue.  
  
_

“Uh, hi” Beau barely whispers as her nose brushes against the tiefling’s.  
  
Jester’s eyes dart down to Beau’s lips for a moment and she grins in response, “Hi.” They’re both smiling now.  
  
  
_Oh, I can’t take it anymore.  
  
  
_“Beau, are you going to kiss me or not? Because I really want you to kiss me, and I think you really want to kiss me. You’ve been being very weird and at first I thou-mmpfh” Jester’s rambling is cut off as Beau’s lips crash into hers and oh, Traveler help her, if it isn’t the best thing ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, I apologize for any grammar/spelling I missed.


	3. This Is Right Where It Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Beau's perspective for what I think will be the final chapter. Things progress a little further. They talk. There's feels. It's cute.

“Uh, hi” Beau barely whispers her heart is pounding in her ears now. She could swear Jester’s eyes dart down to her lips before she returns her gaze once more.  
  
Jester grins in response, “Hi.”  
  
_Dude. Does she, does she want this?  
  
_Jester’s brow furrows with a huff as she begins to ramble, “Beau, are you going to kiss me or not? Because I really want you to kiss me, and I think you really want to kiss me…” and that’s all Beau needs to hear she leans forward and crashes their lips together. Jester freezes in surprise for just a moment, but quickly sinks into it. Jester’s lips are softer than she thought they would be, and she doesn’t want to pull away, but she does before pressing their foreheads together trying to catch her breath.  
  
“Jes, I-I’m sorry I’ve been so weird. I’m just not great with the whole feelings… thing, and you’re my best friend… I just didn’t want to mess up what we have. You-“she’s cut off as Jester places a fingers to her lips.  
  
“Beau. You could never mess up what we have. You’re basically my favorite person ever, well after my mama of course, but you know what I mean. I just wish you would have said something earlier.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Uh well yeah! That way would could have spent more time doing this,” and Jester throws herself into Beau, arms wrapped around her neck as she catches the monk’s lips with her own. Beau smiles into the kiss but can’t help breaking out into a fit of light laughter disrupting the kiss. She sits back as Jester scrunches up her face in mock frustration. “I am not sure what is so funny about my kisses, Beauuu”   
  
_Jeeze she’s adorable. I am in so much trouble._

Beau regains her composure and sits back, her face beginning to her ache from the ear to ear grin that just won’t leave her face. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I don’t think you realize how cute you are sometimes, Jes. I’m just a little surprised is all, I thought you liked Fjord.”  
  
Jester perks up a bit, waggling her brow as she leans a little further into Beaus space, “You think I’m cute?” she bumps her shoulder into Beau knocking her a little off balance.  
  
The monk chuckles, “Of course I do. You’re beautiful, Jes. You’re kind, you are probably the funniest person I know, the way you look at the world…it just… I don’t know how to explain it, you’re just so good. I was just worried that, given my history of fucking everything up, I’d drag you down…that I’m not good enough for you.”  
  
The tiefling’s purple eyes suddenly become very serious, as she takes both of Beau’s hands and holds them in her lap, “You are my best friend. You are strong, you are like really cool, you care about your friends very much, and you always fight for them. I don’t care what your stupid parents say, you are not a fuck up, you’re Beauregard and I really like you. Very much.”  
  
Beau pulls one of her hands free from Jester’s and brings it to brush a few loose curls from the tiefling’s face and lightly threading her fingers into her hair. “And I really like you too, Jes.”  
  
Jester grins, “I think you should kiss me again…just to be sure.”  
  
And Beau does.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my first ever fic. This was fun and I think I'll definitely have to write some more. Yell at me on twitter @ThtJstHappening its new.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do ya think? This has been in my head for weeks and I finally decided to just take the plunge and start it.


End file.
